Tape Ministries

tapeYou can keep your liberal CD’s full of CCM music and liberal preaching far away from fundamentalists. Yes, sir, fundy churches are still in the business of churning out cassette tapes in the ubiquitous “tape ministry” that graces the back table of many an Independent Baptist sanctuary.

As the preacher breathed the last “amen” (pronounced “ay-men” or sometimes “hay-men” but never “ah-men”) the tape ministry crew spring into action, preserving the service on cassettes so that all may enjoy the sounds of of the speaker’s breathing and stomach rumbling.

These tapes are often also sent to foreign missionaries as a ministry of encouragement, for nothing warms the cockles of a missionary’s heart like yet another sermon on sin and the many reason why the speaker is against it. This is assured to be more refreshing to a missionary than a raise in support and a month of vacation.

Salt and light on magnetic tape. Isn’t technology amazing?


3 Responses to Tape Ministries

  1. Bob says:

    It was to get even for us having to clutter up the pastor’s office with that stinky mission barrel.

  2. Bob says:

    Nothing warms the cockles of a pastor’s kid like having to see your dorky missionary kid pictures every time he opened the refrigerator to get a fresh glass of milk and some peanut butter.

  3. Bob M says:

    Dude, who are you? This is good stuff. I left fundyville 9 years ago and am so glad I did. Keep writing this stuff. I like your headline, and I think someone at the FFF uses it so I will try and figure out who you are.

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