Odd Hymns

sankeyhymns1According to unnoficial fundamentalist dogma, the height of perfection in hymn writing was reached somewhere around 1947 and any music written after that point is automatically suspect. Fundies view CCM artists as tools of Satan to tempt young people to turn the fellowship hall into a dance hall. CCM artists view fundamentalists as the musical equivilant of Elmer Fudd.

As the official collection of approved hymns has been canonized, however, there have crept in some strange  selections that can only be described as “absolutely awful.” These would include songs about honey coming out of rocks, boys wandering around, little brown churches in the valley, and holding a fort.

It can only assumed that these hymns were included because they were written by the General Editor’s brother-in-law or perhaps someone to whom he owed great sums of money.

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7 Responses to Odd Hymns

  1. Bob says:

    Nothing was more fun than Sunday evening song request night when your Dad was the song leader and your mom played piano. I always picked the Amens at the back to stump them.

  2. Bob's wife says:

    My mom would be fighting with me before church and then tell me to pick out music for the service. Anything with 5 flats and 6/8 timing would do fine.

  3. Honey in the Rock was always one of those songs that caused me to cringe when I had to sing it. 🙂

  4. Ukulelemike says:

    Hold the Fort is a wonderful song, written during the Civil War, and from then it receives it’s meaning-when the army was surrounded and thought all was lost, the enemy at the doors, the signal comes from afar, that reinforcements are on their way, and salvation is at hand. This kind of meaning and imagery can’t be found anywhere in the weak, watery CCM junk today, and it’s just as applicable today as it was then.

    That being said, there are a lot of ‘approved’ hymns that I faithfully ignore, as there is no good theology in them, and often little real meaning.

  5. Matt says:

    Dude, you neglected to mention songs about coming to the garden alone while dew is still on the roses. Oh, and I believe there’s walking involved. Walking and talking.

  6. Matt says:

    I was just showing this to my wife. She literally is laughing out loud. You rock, good sir.

  7. Jen says:

    The pianist always enjoys playing “Wonderful the Matchless Grace of Jesus” as well.

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