Unimaginative Sports Team Names

eaglesSomewhere back in the beginning of fundamentalism (about two-thousand years ago, to hear them tell it) there was evidently a law made that if a fundamentalist church runs a Christians school, and if that school has a sports team it must bear the name Eagles, Crusaders, Knights, Warriors, or Conquerors.

Female teams will bear the name of their male counterparts with the word “Lady” affixed to the front to indicate the femininity of the players.

And these team shall bear one of the following colors: red-and-white, green-and-white, blue-and-white, or red-and-black. So shall it be without end, yea verily. So let it be written, so let it be done.

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9 Responses to Unimaginative Sports Team Names

  1. Charlie says:

    We must have not been true fundies. We were the Defenders … and our colors were crimson (for the blood that set me free) and gold (for my home in Heaven eternally).

  2. Laura says:

    hmmm. . . i don’t think the “Lady” thing is a fundy thing. . . In highschool I played against other girl teams that were not from Christian Schools–public schools for that matter that were coined with “Lady”.

  3. JTR says:

    Also stupid. Why don’t you let your fingers do the walking through your local high school directory.

    You really should research your stories better. This has nothing to do with being “fundy”, Hater.

  4. Beenthere2 says:

    We were the Crusaders at my Fundy school. Really, where did they come up with that? Historical irony, anyone?

  5. Jen says:

    We had a contest to name our Christian school team. I won. We were the Raiders and our colors were blue-and-white (like our school uniforms). My classmate Peter drew the logo of a helmeted knight on a horse with a javelin/spear.

  6. Ah, we were Knights. And we played Eagles, Crusaders….. Very funny. But, we were a bit liberal, had purple and gold as our colors.

  7. Oh, my college team was maroon and silver, named the Fightin’ Fundamentalists. How original.

  8. Mark says:

    Elementary school: Defenders (maroon and gold)
    High school & College: Crusaders (blue & gold)

  9. Andrea says:

    I didn’t grow up as a Baptist Fundie, but as a Lutheran Fundie (bet you didn’t know there are Lutheran Fundies).

    We were the Calvary Crusaders.

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