Autographed Bibles

signedbible“Preacher, please sign my bible.”

Autograph hounds show up just about everywhere, and fundamentalists events are no different. At any special services where a well-known fundy pastor, evangelist, or missionary is present there will inevitably be a line of folks who gather to get his signature on their Bible.

Why fundamentalists feel the need to collect these signatures remains somewhat of a mystery. Perhaps an annual contest would be in order with prize categories like

  • most signatures (A wide margin Scofield Bible is a must to be considered a serious competitor in this field. Old Scofield only, please)
  • most important signature (One would, of course, run the risk of a tie between the autographs of Jack Hyles and John R. Rice — not an easy contest to settle without bloodshed.)
  • strangest Bible reference given with signature (Why would anyone sign a bible with the reference Matthew 19:12??)
  • Get up to the front of the auditorium and get lined up for that autograph! The music for the second service is just about to start…


8 Responses to Autographed Bibles

  1. Matt says:

    Don’t you think they’d have a categorie for…ahem…original autographs?

  2. Darrell says:

    original autographs

    Well done!!

  3. JTR says:

    Ugh. Such mischaracterization. Where do I start.

    IFBs are the least man-worshippy group out there!! Having the preacher sign your Bible is just a way of remembering the occasion, and maybe the message. The man of God is a good person to respect.

    R E S P E C T …look it up.

  4. Mike says:

    Hilarious and true. I recently found my old Scofield KJV from high school and thought, “Why in the world did I get autographs?”

  5. Marsh says:

    To JTR –

    Not so; my kids go to a fundy school, and I’ve gotten to witness the worshipful glee that the HS kids have when they have the guest nobody pastor from Bumsquat Baptist Church and Basement Seminary autograph their KJVs. I’m not sure whom to think less of – the silly kids, or the preachers who actually sign…

  6. Charles says:

    Matt 19:12! That caused me to spit my Diet Pepsi!

  7. Matt says:

    Matt. 19:12
    I know I should have this memorized, but alas I has to google it. It is 1:42 am and I am up with sick children šŸ™‚ man that cracked me up!
    JTR: R u serious or just joshin’ us?

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