Roller Skating Outings

rollerIf you ever go on a fundamentalist youth group outing, chances are you’ll end up at the local roller rink. With so few non-worldly options to choose from for group entertainment, roller skating is a favorite activity in fundy circles.

Being fundamentalists, of course, they way they roller skate is little different from the rest of the population — if there even is anybody in the general population who still roller skates.

Since skirts are much more modest than pants when a girl is falling down in front of everyone, they are required. Alternatively a pair of stylish culottes may be worn. The music selections will also be unique, consisting of the most popular dance music from three-hundred years ago and (if it gets really wild and crazy) Southern Gospel quartets.

So strap on your roller skates and prepare to be thrilled by awkward flirting from the other fundamentalist teens. And be oh, so thankful that your church has rented out the entire roller rink and nobody else is there to witness you in a pair of culottes.

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3 Responses to Roller Skating Outings

  1. Andrew says:

    You haven’t rolled until you’ve rolled to Ron Hamilton musick!

  2. Ron Bean says:

    I always thought that a lot of john Peterson’s music was roller rink oriented. Think “Coming Again”.

  3. stufffundieslike says:

    “May…be morning….may be…noon…”

    By George, I think you’re right.

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