Ron Hamilton

patchWhether it’s tapes from Patch the Pirate or the yearly Christmas cantata where someone dies, Ron Hamilton and his company, Majesty Music, have an honored place in fundamentalism.

After losing his eye, Ron Hamilton girded up his fundamentalist loins, donned an eye patch, and and took on the persona of “Patch the Pirate”, a hero who sailed the seas with his crew of kids and assorted talking animals, learning good moral lessons, and singing catchy tunes.

Strangely, although some of his tunes are pulled almost straight out of secular songs, Ron’s music is still quite popular in fundamentalist circles. He’s even called to teach at the Hyles Anderson Pastor’s School. It doesn’t get much more fundy than that.

But no matter what else he has done or will do, Ron Hamilton will always bear the distinction of being the man who wrote the song I Want To Marry Daddy When I Grow Up, the creepiest fundamentalist children’s song ever penned. And that’s quite something.

7 Responses to Ron Hamilton

  1. sarahbereza says:

    my brothers and I owned every last one of those (yellow) cassette tapes. I remember the 1st time we got a CD…it was big stuff. I don’t know how my mother handled listening to them over and over again….

  2. Stephen says:

    My favorite was the Great American Time Machine (nothing like a few good stereotypes to set your kid straight.)

  3. Ron Bean says:

    I love visiting this site. Makes me laugh every time I drop by. I remember being the guest preacher at a fundie church on Father’s Day and the special music was a group of little girls singing “I Want to Marry Daddy”. It was beyond creepy!

  4. TJ says:

    I knew many a 1st-6th grade boy whose first crush was “Sissy Seagull”

  5. heyrandy says:

    Given that pirates steal for a living, why is it that Patch is a good guy? Does the alliteration make it acceptable?

  6. franksinatra says:

    Ah yes, many Saturdays in the car listening to those yellow cassette tapes…but make sure when you listen to the “Misterslippi River Race” that you skip that one song that was SO wicked ‘cuz of its anapestic backbeat 🙂

  7. Ben says:

    I’m glad I stumbled on somebody else who remembered this stuff! My Christian school did a play one year of “The Great American Time Machine”, and I was in it. It was such a weird thing to have this “Patch the Pirate” stuff treated like it was the best thing ever. I remember Ron Hamilton came to our church too dressed as Patch and preached. It’s all so surreal now.

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